Pages

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Lenten Retreat - Mom-style

Retreats are a time away from your daily life, an opportunity to put down or away everything you normally do and spend that "free" time with the Lord.  That's more or less a Catholic view of the thing at least.  Lent is a popular time for retreats, as the Church walks with Jesus through the days leading up to His great sacrifice and our own redemption. He sets His face toward Jerusalem and makes his way up to Zion.  It sounds very spiritual, almost cozy.

At the moment, my opinion is warped by a bad head cold, which happened to strike me way back toward the beginning of Lent. Yes, I have suffered throbbing sinus, a wracking cough, muffled hearing and a general wish to sleep and never wake up, for the past 40 days.  Though I did start Ratzinger's "Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week" with the intention of a contemplative Lent, I haven't had the energy to get past the first half (though trust me even that is an enriching spiritual activity).

I have suffered constant misery this Lent. And tried to unite my unglamorous suffering with Our Lord's. Not at all the way I would wish to assist Him in His great mission! I would prefer to suffer great hunger or spend hours on my knees in prayer, or go out and do good works for many, perhaps work in a soup kitchen or something.

Instead I have had endure petty misery and a lack of energy, and a constant grumpiness at my family who have the nerve to be slightly less sick than I am. Definitely not the type of suffering I think of as redemptive.  Lord, how on earth does this help You in any way with Your work?

But I have faith, even against my own opinion, that in some way even this miserable miserableness can help Him, if I close my eyes and say along with Him, "not my will but Yours be done."

No comments:

Post a Comment